Certificate 12A, 100 minutes, ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Will Smith, Jaden Smith, Sophie Okonedo and Zoe Kravitz star in this M Knight Shyamalan directed sci-fi movie.
For some reason, humanity has been forced to leave Earth and move to new digs on Nova Prime, where everything looks like it belongs to a cross between a sailboat and a Persil commercial (other detergents are available, and probably needed to keep all the white fabrics clean...). All well and good, apart from the alien bugs that go around killing people and spiking them with extreme prejudice.
Daddy Smith plays a general in the interstellar space force, who is the only person that's immune to these bugs, because he has no fear (it seems they hunt by detecting the pheromones produced by fear). Actually he has no real emotion of any sort. Diddy Smith plays his son, who idolises his father but has obedience issues after his older sister was killed by one of these bugs.
Anyhow, Daddy and Diddy wind up together on this spaceship which gets damaged in a meteor storm and crashes on a now-interdicted Earth. Daddy is badly injured and so is forced to sit in part of the wrecked spaceship, wearing a "who wrote this crap? Oh, it was me... what was I thinking?" pout, while Diddy wanders around the planet being chased by CG apes and giant eagles and being out acted by the trees. Of course this giant bug shows up, and the only way Diddy can survive to save the day is to show no fear. But since he hasn't shown any other emotions up to this point, that shouldn't be too difficult.
I'm still left wondering why Hollywood keeps letting Shyamalan back behind a camera, since he only demonstrates time and time again a talent for awfulness. And I have to say this film is just as bad as the rest.
Showing posts with label Reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reviews. Show all posts
Saturday, 8 June 2013
Thursday, 23 May 2013
Ignite's 5 Stars
Wanted just got its first five star review, from Ignite's Book Blog (Yay!!! :-)). You can read the review here:
Tim Arnot is a new author and has created a believable world. You most certainly don't need to be a young adult to enjoy it, though the main protagonists are.
This is a post-apocalyptic book with a difference. Most of them concentrate on a devastated world where chaos rules. Tim Arnot has taken a world which collapsed maybe a couple of hundred years ago and people have adapted. He creates a Britain in which electricity and technology are forbidden (except to the Kingsmen – an elite law enforcement agency). Sixteen year old Flick Carter makes flint arrowheads, hunts and helps her dad to run the local inn. Out hunting, she ‘finds’ a young man, Shea, injured after using forbidden technology. Her caring for him puts her in danger; he’s already in it up to his neck! There are those working against the king, to raise a private army. Flick falls foul of these and her life is forfeit.
Tim Arnot has created a believable world here and has fabricated the politics to go with it. I enjoyed the characters, feisty Flick and her younger sister Rosie; the Faringdon Watch and the Kingsmen, in particular, Jessica Dixon. There are evil characters to get your teeth into too; especially the corrupt and bullying mayor and his weak and venal thugs. We learn just enough about the mysterious Shea to want to follow his exploits and there are hints that Jessica is more than she initially seems to be. Flick is a darling! I really look forward to reading more.
Ignite Books (Follow Ignite on Twitter)
You can buy Wanted (Flick Carter Book 1) from Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Kobo or B&N Nook.
Saturday, 30 March 2013
The Host
Certificate 12A, 125 minutes, ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆
Saoirse Ronan (Hanna, Atonement, The Lovely Bones) stars in this movie adaptation of Stephanie Meyer's 2008 novel, The Host.
At first you'd be forgiven for drawing parallels with Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and yes we have glowing alien centipedes that inhabit the brains of their hosts, but that's pretty much where the similarity ends. You see, these aliens are nice.
And that's the problem.
We have an exciting first reel (do they still have reels? maybe I should just say first 20 minutes...) in which Melanie (Ronan) is chased down, tries to kill herself but is saved, healed and implanted by a "Soul" called Wanderer. Then we find out that the Souls' take over of humans is not as complete as they'd have us believe, and Melanie is still in there, fighting to regain control. She manages to make Wanderer flee into the desert where she's found by Uncle Jeb (William Hurt).
After that it goes all new age eco weird.
There's the usual Meyer inter-species love triangle, but the twist this time is that it's a four-way triangle with only three bodies (you just know how that's going to end...), but the two boys are pretty bland and uninteresting, the obsessive baddie cop "Seeker" (Diane Kruger) sent out to catch Wanderer/Melanie (who has been nicknamed Wanda in an effort to get the movie over a bit quicker) is ineffectual, which means we're left with the internal two people in one body conflict to carry the tension. And it fails. It just comes over as one person with an occasional twitch and a reverbed voice over from time to time.
But the chrome Lotus Evoras were nice (as was the chrome R44), and the cavern complex with hand-cranked mirrors for lighting was truly stunning.
But scenery and shiny cars a good movie do not make. Shame. 5/10
Saoirse Ronan (Hanna, Atonement, The Lovely Bones) stars in this movie adaptation of Stephanie Meyer's 2008 novel, The Host.
At first you'd be forgiven for drawing parallels with Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and yes we have glowing alien centipedes that inhabit the brains of their hosts, but that's pretty much where the similarity ends. You see, these aliens are nice.
And that's the problem.
We have an exciting first reel (do they still have reels? maybe I should just say first 20 minutes...) in which Melanie (Ronan) is chased down, tries to kill herself but is saved, healed and implanted by a "Soul" called Wanderer. Then we find out that the Souls' take over of humans is not as complete as they'd have us believe, and Melanie is still in there, fighting to regain control. She manages to make Wanderer flee into the desert where she's found by Uncle Jeb (William Hurt).
After that it goes all new age eco weird.
There's the usual Meyer inter-species love triangle, but the twist this time is that it's a four-way triangle with only three bodies (you just know how that's going to end...), but the two boys are pretty bland and uninteresting, the obsessive baddie cop "Seeker" (Diane Kruger) sent out to catch Wanderer/Melanie (who has been nicknamed Wanda in an effort to get the movie over a bit quicker) is ineffectual, which means we're left with the internal two people in one body conflict to carry the tension. And it fails. It just comes over as one person with an occasional twitch and a reverbed voice over from time to time.
But the chrome Lotus Evoras were nice (as was the chrome R44), and the cavern complex with hand-cranked mirrors for lighting was truly stunning.
But scenery and shiny cars a good movie do not make. Shame. 5/10
G. I. Joe: Retaliation
Certificate 12A, 110 minutes ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Zartan the shape shifter (Pryce) has taken over the White House and is holding the real president (Pryce) hostage. Johnson and the Joes are off on a ridiculously stupid mission stealing nukes from the North Koreans, when most of them are wiped out by an air strike courtesy of Zartan. The remaining Joes, along with a bunch of mystery ninjas now have to save the world, defeat Zartan and a bunch of mystery ninjas and restore the good pres.
The action sequences, fights etc were all well done; there's even a fight across a sheer cliff face on the end of climbing ropes. That pretty much is it for good points. The rest of the film is a confusing nonsensical illogical mess. I never did figure out the ninjas: at the outset I couldn't work out who were the good guys and the bad guys, and at the end I still couldn't work it out.
Channing Tatum had the right idea: Get killed off early on, then you can't be blamed for the rest of it.
Back in the day, GI Joe was the American version of what we called Action Man, a 12" action figure that many of us played with as kids (actually, Palitoy produced Action Man under licence from Hasbro, but let us not worry about such things). Then in the 1980s, Hasbro started producing the 3 3/4" line, which is what you see in the shops today.
G. I. Joe: Retaliation is a sequel to 2009s GI Joe; Return of the Cobra. It stars Dwayne Johnson, with Channing Tatum, Adrianne Palicki, DJ Cotrona, Jonathan Pryce and an extended cameo from Bruce Willis.
Zartan the shape shifter (Pryce) has taken over the White House and is holding the real president (Pryce) hostage. Johnson and the Joes are off on a ridiculously stupid mission stealing nukes from the North Koreans, when most of them are wiped out by an air strike courtesy of Zartan. The remaining Joes, along with a bunch of mystery ninjas now have to save the world, defeat Zartan and a bunch of mystery ninjas and restore the good pres.
The action sequences, fights etc were all well done; there's even a fight across a sheer cliff face on the end of climbing ropes. That pretty much is it for good points. The rest of the film is a confusing nonsensical illogical mess. I never did figure out the ninjas: at the outset I couldn't work out who were the good guys and the bad guys, and at the end I still couldn't work it out.
Channing Tatum had the right idea: Get killed off early on, then you can't be blamed for the rest of it.
On the plus side, My Cineworld card has paid for itself this month, with another DVD I can avoid buying. Chuck toys at each other and shout blam blam blam. 3/10
Thursday, 21 March 2013
Welcome to the Punch
Certificate 15, 100 minutes, ★★★★★★★☆☆☆
James McAvoy and Mark Strong star in this indie British cop/crime thriller set among the glass and steel skyscrapers of London's Canary Wharf.
Three years ago, tough cop Max Lewinsky (McAvoy) was wounded while chasing big-time crook Jacob Sternwood (Strong) after a heist. Now, Sternwood's son has been found shot on the apron at London's City airport. When Sternwood returns for his boy, Max sees his chance finally to bring the crook to justice, but finds himself in the middle of a conspiracy that goes right to the top.
Fast paced and shot mainly at night (it's rare that we see London in a movie looking so gorgeously glittery), this is a glossy thriller that, if I'm honest, doesn't go anywhere new. But it retreads old ground with a degree of style that, for example, last year's The Sweeney lacked. Yes, the twists are visible a mile off, but the set pieces are confident and well executed, the cast is like a roll call of British talent and there are some real stand out moments.
What the Sweeney should have been Guv. 7/10
James McAvoy and Mark Strong star in this indie British cop/crime thriller set among the glass and steel skyscrapers of London's Canary Wharf.
Three years ago, tough cop Max Lewinsky (McAvoy) was wounded while chasing big-time crook Jacob Sternwood (Strong) after a heist. Now, Sternwood's son has been found shot on the apron at London's City airport. When Sternwood returns for his boy, Max sees his chance finally to bring the crook to justice, but finds himself in the middle of a conspiracy that goes right to the top.
Fast paced and shot mainly at night (it's rare that we see London in a movie looking so gorgeously glittery), this is a glossy thriller that, if I'm honest, doesn't go anywhere new. But it retreads old ground with a degree of style that, for example, last year's The Sweeney lacked. Yes, the twists are visible a mile off, but the set pieces are confident and well executed, the cast is like a roll call of British talent and there are some real stand out moments.
What the Sweeney should have been Guv. 7/10
Sunday, 17 March 2013
The Croods
Certificate U, 98 minutes ★★★★★★★★★☆
Back in the days of way back when, Aardman Animation (Wallace & Gromit, The Pirates, Chicken Run etc) announced a five film deal with DreamWorks Annimation. One of those stop motion films was to be the Pythonesquely titled Crood Awakening. Indeed the first few drafts were penned by John Cleese, along with Kirk DeMicco (who eventually directed). That deal went south, and the title reverted to DreamWorks, who have finally brought it out under the title The Croods as a regular 3D CG animation.
The Croods are a family of thick-set Neanderthal-browed cavemen, led by Grug (Nicholas Cage), his wife Ugga (Catherine keener), mother-in-law (Cloris Leachman), daughters Eep (Emma Stone) and Sandy, son Thunk (Clark Duke), and 'the baby'. We learn that they are the last surviving family, which Grug attributes to regarding anything "new"as a threat to their survival. Teenage daughter Eep naturally rebels, and one night sneaks out of their cave.
She meets the human boy Guy (Ryan Reynolds) who shows her this fascinating new thing called fire and tells of the end of the world, and is subsequently grounded by her father. When the cave is subsequently destroyed by an earthquake, the Croods flee, and meet up once again with Guy, who leads them reluctantly (or eagerly in Eep's case) towards a new land populated with strange creatures, from sabretoothed kittens to miniature mouse-elephants to piranha-jawed parrots...
Visually, the film is stunning, both in terms of design and animation. Not totally surprising, since Roger Deakins (Skyfall) acted as visual consultant, as he did also with Rango, How to train your Dragon and Wall-E (and The Guardians, but frankly, the less said about that the better). It's truly amazing how far animation has come, even since the later Toy Story films, when you look at the details in the hair and fur (you really find yourself wanting to run your hands through it, it's so good), and water, and the simply amazing flocking parrots (I was watching a flock of starlings in the dusk the other evening, and seriously, it's as good as real life).
The script still shows signs of the original Cleese wit, and there are plenty of gags, both verbal and visual, in there for adults as well as kids, and it is genuinely funny. This is one film I would definitely go and see again. And then buy the Blu Ray.
Never not be afraid: 8/10
Back in the days of way back when, Aardman Animation (Wallace & Gromit, The Pirates, Chicken Run etc) announced a five film deal with DreamWorks Annimation. One of those stop motion films was to be the Pythonesquely titled Crood Awakening. Indeed the first few drafts were penned by John Cleese, along with Kirk DeMicco (who eventually directed). That deal went south, and the title reverted to DreamWorks, who have finally brought it out under the title The Croods as a regular 3D CG animation.
The Croods are a family of thick-set Neanderthal-browed cavemen, led by Grug (Nicholas Cage), his wife Ugga (Catherine keener), mother-in-law (Cloris Leachman), daughters Eep (Emma Stone) and Sandy, son Thunk (Clark Duke), and 'the baby'. We learn that they are the last surviving family, which Grug attributes to regarding anything "new"as a threat to their survival. Teenage daughter Eep naturally rebels, and one night sneaks out of their cave.
She meets the human boy Guy (Ryan Reynolds) who shows her this fascinating new thing called fire and tells of the end of the world, and is subsequently grounded by her father. When the cave is subsequently destroyed by an earthquake, the Croods flee, and meet up once again with Guy, who leads them reluctantly (or eagerly in Eep's case) towards a new land populated with strange creatures, from sabretoothed kittens to miniature mouse-elephants to piranha-jawed parrots...
Visually, the film is stunning, both in terms of design and animation. Not totally surprising, since Roger Deakins (Skyfall) acted as visual consultant, as he did also with Rango, How to train your Dragon and Wall-E (and The Guardians, but frankly, the less said about that the better). It's truly amazing how far animation has come, even since the later Toy Story films, when you look at the details in the hair and fur (you really find yourself wanting to run your hands through it, it's so good), and water, and the simply amazing flocking parrots (I was watching a flock of starlings in the dusk the other evening, and seriously, it's as good as real life).
The script still shows signs of the original Cleese wit, and there are plenty of gags, both verbal and visual, in there for adults as well as kids, and it is genuinely funny. This is one film I would definitely go and see again. And then buy the Blu Ray.
Never not be afraid: 8/10
Side Effects
Certificate 15, 106 minutes, ★★★★★★★★☆☆
Jude Law (The Talented Mr Ripley) plays Dr Jonathan Banks, an overworked New York psychiatrist in Steven Soderberg's (allegedly) final movie, Side Effects. One day he treats Emily (Rooney Mara - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo [US remake]), admitted to hospital after driving head first into a parking garage wall. After consulting with her previous doctor (Catherine Zeta-Jones), Banks puts her on an experimental new drug called Ablixa. Things go well until the side effects start manifesting...
Side Effects is an excellent psychological thriller in the Hitchcockian tradition. Compelling, disturbing, sinister, and gripping in equal measure (Oxford Comma there, guys ;)) but also visually sumptuous, with just a hint of nightmare about it.
To tell you anything more about the plot would be a spoiler, and it really is worth watching this film unspoiled. It has an original screenplay by Scott Z. Burns, inspired cinematography by "Peter Andrews" (Soderbergh himself, under a pseudonym), and expertly edited by "Mary Ann Bernard" (Soderbergh again. Hmm, is there a trend... ;))
The casting couldn't be better. Law and Mara give arguably their best ever performances. Law as the bland psychiatrist who is at the same time greedy and vain; Mara as the troubled young victim, both scared and scary. If this really is Indie director Soderbergh's final opus (please say it isn't so!) he's going out with a bang.
One pill, TDS. 8/10
Jude Law (The Talented Mr Ripley) plays Dr Jonathan Banks, an overworked New York psychiatrist in Steven Soderberg's (allegedly) final movie, Side Effects. One day he treats Emily (Rooney Mara - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo [US remake]), admitted to hospital after driving head first into a parking garage wall. After consulting with her previous doctor (Catherine Zeta-Jones), Banks puts her on an experimental new drug called Ablixa. Things go well until the side effects start manifesting...
Side Effects is an excellent psychological thriller in the Hitchcockian tradition. Compelling, disturbing, sinister, and gripping in equal measure (Oxford Comma there, guys ;)) but also visually sumptuous, with just a hint of nightmare about it.
To tell you anything more about the plot would be a spoiler, and it really is worth watching this film unspoiled. It has an original screenplay by Scott Z. Burns, inspired cinematography by "Peter Andrews" (Soderbergh himself, under a pseudonym), and expertly edited by "Mary Ann Bernard" (Soderbergh again. Hmm, is there a trend... ;))
The casting couldn't be better. Law and Mara give arguably their best ever performances. Law as the bland psychiatrist who is at the same time greedy and vain; Mara as the troubled young victim, both scared and scary. If this really is Indie director Soderbergh's final opus (please say it isn't so!) he's going out with a bang.
One pill, TDS. 8/10
Friday, 15 March 2013
Great North Road
Great North Road by Peter F. Hamilton★★★★★
UK hardback edition, signed by the author on the day before publication. :)
At just shy of 1100 pages, this is an epic tale. Part police-procedural, part monster-attrition thriller, part space opera set in a future where travel to distant worlds is just a step through the gateway away.
The story opens in January 2143, with the discovery of a body in the Tyne. It was one of the rich North family clones, and he was savagely murdered. Not none of the clones has been reported missing. Even stranger, there was a similar murder twenty years ago, on the distant world of St Libra. Another North billionaire and his whole household. But the murderer, one Angela Tremelo has been in prison for the last twenty years. Perhaps her claims - not believed at the time - that they were the victims of an attack by an alien monster were true? But there was no animal life on St Libra...
So Tremelo is released from prison under guard and taken to St Libra to act as consultant to an expedition to uncover the truth once and for all (shades of Ripley in Aliens there). And before long, people start dying. Has the monster struck again, or is Angela Tremelo just a brutal psychopath? What really happened 20 years ago?
I have to say this book had me completely absorbed from beginning to end. Hamilton weaves a story that is both vast and intricate in its complexity, yet it doesn't get bogged down. The world-building has a richness and a vibrancy to it; the characters are well-rounded and believable. There are plenty of twists and turns, some predictable, others not, as the story in Newcastle and the story on St Libra cross back and forth and gradually merge together.
Five claw-blade-handed stars from me, sweets.
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
Oz the Great and Powerful
Certificate PG, 130 mins. ★★★★★★★☆☆☆
Sam Raimi's Oz the Great and Powerful is essentially a prequel to both L. Frank Baum's fourteen Oz books and the 1939 Victor Fleming movie, The Wizard of Oz.
Oscar Diggs (James Franco - 127 hours, Your Highness) is a conman and illusionist in a 1905 Kansas travelling circus. When the strong man finds out he's been flirting with his wife, Diggs escapes in a hot air balloon, straight into the path of a massive storm. magically he's transported to the land of Oz, where he's found by Theodora (Mila Kunis - Family Guy's Meg), a good witch, who believes him to be a powerful wizard come to defeat the wicked witch.
Like the 1939 film, Great & Powerful starts off in black and white, Academy ratio, only transitioning to 2.35:1 and colour when Diggs reaches Oz. Also like the '39 film, there is a certain amount of doubling up, and the Oz characters have dopplegangers back in Kansas. Michelle Williams plays both Glinda the Good Witch, and Annie, an old flame back in Kansas. Zach Braff is Frank, Diggs' assistant in Kansas, and also voices Finley the flying monkey. Joey King plays a wheelchair-bound girl in the audience at the circus, and also voices the living doll from China Town.
There's more nods to the old film, including scarecrows, cackling green-skinned witch and a lusciously colourful digital recreation of the emerald city and yellow brick road.
Whether you like the film or not, I think depends on how you react to Franco. Oscar Diggs is very much the antihero, and in the opening scenes it's hard to find anything to like about him. Even in Oz, he's slavering over piles of gold, trading in one witch for the next and being an all round cad. It takes a long time - possibly too long - for him to transform into the likeable character at the end, who battles smoke and mirrors illusions against the real magic of the evil witches.
Mila Kunis as Theodora the witch is... both unsettling and sizzling (literally). Brilliant piece of casting. Rachel Weisz plays her evil sister, Evanora, a cold hearted vamp, and Michelle Williams rounds out the trio (there's always three witches..) as the good witch Glinda.
A little bit too long, but very enjoyable. We're off to see the wizard. 7/10
Sam Raimi's Oz the Great and Powerful is essentially a prequel to both L. Frank Baum's fourteen Oz books and the 1939 Victor Fleming movie, The Wizard of Oz.
Oscar Diggs (James Franco - 127 hours, Your Highness) is a conman and illusionist in a 1905 Kansas travelling circus. When the strong man finds out he's been flirting with his wife, Diggs escapes in a hot air balloon, straight into the path of a massive storm. magically he's transported to the land of Oz, where he's found by Theodora (Mila Kunis - Family Guy's Meg), a good witch, who believes him to be a powerful wizard come to defeat the wicked witch.
Like the 1939 film, Great & Powerful starts off in black and white, Academy ratio, only transitioning to 2.35:1 and colour when Diggs reaches Oz. Also like the '39 film, there is a certain amount of doubling up, and the Oz characters have dopplegangers back in Kansas. Michelle Williams plays both Glinda the Good Witch, and Annie, an old flame back in Kansas. Zach Braff is Frank, Diggs' assistant in Kansas, and also voices Finley the flying monkey. Joey King plays a wheelchair-bound girl in the audience at the circus, and also voices the living doll from China Town.
There's more nods to the old film, including scarecrows, cackling green-skinned witch and a lusciously colourful digital recreation of the emerald city and yellow brick road.
Whether you like the film or not, I think depends on how you react to Franco. Oscar Diggs is very much the antihero, and in the opening scenes it's hard to find anything to like about him. Even in Oz, he's slavering over piles of gold, trading in one witch for the next and being an all round cad. It takes a long time - possibly too long - for him to transform into the likeable character at the end, who battles smoke and mirrors illusions against the real magic of the evil witches.
Mila Kunis as Theodora the witch is... both unsettling and sizzling (literally). Brilliant piece of casting. Rachel Weisz plays her evil sister, Evanora, a cold hearted vamp, and Michelle Williams rounds out the trio (there's always three witches..) as the good witch Glinda.
A little bit too long, but very enjoyable. We're off to see the wizard. 7/10
Saturday, 9 March 2013
Mockingjay
Mockingjay (Hunger Games #3) by Suzanne Collins
★★★★★
17 year old Katniss Everdeen has survived the Hunger Games. Twice. And Snow has exacted his revenge by destroying District 12. The few survivors have relocated to 13, the home of the rebellion, and Katniss is called upon to become the Mockingjay, figurehead of the resistance. But at what cost to her? Her friends? Her family? Or is she just a pawn in a bigger Hunger Games that engulfs the whole capitol?
I read this originally about a year ago, when the Hunger Games movie came out, and decided to read the books again with a somewhat more critical eye (from the technical, writing perspective).
I may have said it before, but Collins is a master (mistress?) of the art of writing a hard and brutal third act. I know I'm a big softie, but even the second time through, I couldn't read the last couple of chapters more than a page at a time. Characters and plot are artfully crafted, but there is a sense, particularly in Part 3 that it's Collins who is the real enemy, not the Capitol or the rebels. Obstacles (and deaths) seem to be put there because she can, not because they serve the story, and that, I think, lets it down slightly.
Other than that though, she doesn't pull her punches, and we go through the wringer along with Katniss, and feel her sense of loss and devastation at the end.
Awesome writing, and upgraded my original rating to ★★★★★.
I really don't know how they're going to turn it into a 12A rated movie though.
Broken City
Certificate 15 109 minutes, ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
Mark Wahlberg plays Billy Taggart, a Private Eye hired by Russell Crowe's corrupt mayor to spy on his wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) in this noir-esque political crime drama. While he's at it, he uncovers the usual den of corruption, gets shot at, chased, finds a stash of incriminating documents dumped in a dumpster (what's wrong with email?), people get killed, cars get smashed, the usual suspects get rounded up.
This thriller is pretty much by the numbers, and while it does have noir overtones that make one hanker for Chinatown or The Maltese Falcon, Wahlberg is not in the same league as Bogart, or Nicholson. Add to that the slack pacing and tired plot, and the result is pretty lacklustre.
On the plus side, Crowe does not sing. 6/10
Mark Wahlberg plays Billy Taggart, a Private Eye hired by Russell Crowe's corrupt mayor to spy on his wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) in this noir-esque political crime drama. While he's at it, he uncovers the usual den of corruption, gets shot at, chased, finds a stash of incriminating documents dumped in a dumpster (what's wrong with email?), people get killed, cars get smashed, the usual suspects get rounded up.
This thriller is pretty much by the numbers, and while it does have noir overtones that make one hanker for Chinatown or The Maltese Falcon, Wahlberg is not in the same league as Bogart, or Nicholson. Add to that the slack pacing and tired plot, and the result is pretty lacklustre.
On the plus side, Crowe does not sing. 6/10
Safe Haven
Certificate 12A, 88 minutes, ★★★★★★★☆☆☆
I have never been a fan of romance novels, so maybe it's a bit strange that I don't mind sitting through the occasional RomDram. Or possibly it's just cold and wet out and I need somewhere warm for an hour or two (that's what I tell myself...)
Nicholas Sparks (The Lucky One, Dear John, etc) has often been accused of being formulaic, and certainly within a few minutes of the opening you can pretty much guess the entirety of the plot and the inevitable twist at the end. And so it is with this film. But if you go into it knowing what to expect, it that such a bad thing? It's like comfort food.
And so we have Katie (Julianne Hough - Rock of Ages, Footloose, Burlesque), an attractive young blonde (possibly) woman, obviously running away from "something", who ends up at a small North Carolina seaside town, where she meets Alex (Josh Duhamel - Transformers Dark of the Moon, New Year's Eve), a hunky widower, who runs the small general store.
For a long time nothing much happens. But it's pretty. Then the "something" catches up, and there is the obvious plot twist, followed by another plot twist that is either daft, or also obvious (if you ever watched an episode of The Twilight Zone). The end.
Julianne Hough is nice to look at. The North Carolina scenery is nice to look at. That's me happy. It's a Nicholas Sparks movie, what do you expect? 7/10
I have never been a fan of romance novels, so maybe it's a bit strange that I don't mind sitting through the occasional RomDram. Or possibly it's just cold and wet out and I need somewhere warm for an hour or two (that's what I tell myself...)
Nicholas Sparks (The Lucky One, Dear John, etc) has often been accused of being formulaic, and certainly within a few minutes of the opening you can pretty much guess the entirety of the plot and the inevitable twist at the end. And so it is with this film. But if you go into it knowing what to expect, it that such a bad thing? It's like comfort food.
And so we have Katie (Julianne Hough - Rock of Ages, Footloose, Burlesque), an attractive young blonde (possibly) woman, obviously running away from "something", who ends up at a small North Carolina seaside town, where she meets Alex (Josh Duhamel - Transformers Dark of the Moon, New Year's Eve), a hunky widower, who runs the small general store.
For a long time nothing much happens. But it's pretty. Then the "something" catches up, and there is the obvious plot twist, followed by another plot twist that is either daft, or also obvious (if you ever watched an episode of The Twilight Zone). The end.
Julianne Hough is nice to look at. The North Carolina scenery is nice to look at. That's me happy. It's a Nicholas Sparks movie, what do you expect? 7/10
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Certificate 15, 88 minutes, ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆
Jeremy Renner plays a grown up, diabetic Hansel against Gemma Arterton's Gretel in this post-fairy tale take of what happened to Hansel and Gretel after they grew up.
In essence, they become steampunk witch hunters, and, er, hunt witches. That's pretty much it.
Ummm... I'm going to start off by saying this movie isn't actually bad. But it isn't good either. I think the problem with it is that it doesn't quite know what it wants to be. It kind of wants to be a kooky fun movie for the kids, but they put so much gore and violence (and ladybits) in that this audience won't see it. Yet there's not enough "meat" to the film that an older audience would be satisfied.
Remember how the other week I said they had ruined A Good Day to Die Hard by making it a 12A? Well they ruined this one by not making it a 12A.
Stay out of the Candy Cottage next time! 5/10
Jeremy Renner plays a grown up, diabetic Hansel against Gemma Arterton's Gretel in this post-fairy tale take of what happened to Hansel and Gretel after they grew up.
In essence, they become steampunk witch hunters, and, er, hunt witches. That's pretty much it.
Ummm... I'm going to start off by saying this movie isn't actually bad. But it isn't good either. I think the problem with it is that it doesn't quite know what it wants to be. It kind of wants to be a kooky fun movie for the kids, but they put so much gore and violence (and ladybits) in that this audience won't see it. Yet there's not enough "meat" to the film that an older audience would be satisfied.
Remember how the other week I said they had ruined A Good Day to Die Hard by making it a 12A? Well they ruined this one by not making it a 12A.
Stay out of the Candy Cottage next time! 5/10
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Song for Marion
Certificate PG, 93 minutes, ★★★★★★★★☆☆
I can't help thinking I must be turning into a Saga Lout... Hot on the heels of Dusting Hoffman's Quartet, Paul Andrew Williams' gran-com stars Terence Stamp as grumpy pensioner Arthur and Vanessa Redgrave as his ever cheerful wife, Marion. Marion's joy in life is singing with a local choir, the "OAPz", led by Elizabeth (Gemma Aterton)
When Marion succumbs to a long-standing illness, Arthur tries to hide away, but through perseverance, Elizabeth eventually brings him out of his shell, into the choir, and helps rebuild the relationship with his estranged son (Christopher Eccleston).
This film is bound to be compared against Quartet, since both are about old people singing, but I have to say I think this is the better film. Sure it's less glitzy and is obviously made on a shoestring, but it wears its heart on its sleeve, and it doesn't pull its punches: unlike Quartet, we do get the magic song finale, and very fine it is too.
Worth seeing just for the 80-somethings belting out "Let's talk about sex, baby..." 8/10
I can't help thinking I must be turning into a Saga Lout... Hot on the heels of Dusting Hoffman's Quartet, Paul Andrew Williams' gran-com stars Terence Stamp as grumpy pensioner Arthur and Vanessa Redgrave as his ever cheerful wife, Marion. Marion's joy in life is singing with a local choir, the "OAPz", led by Elizabeth (Gemma Aterton)
When Marion succumbs to a long-standing illness, Arthur tries to hide away, but through perseverance, Elizabeth eventually brings him out of his shell, into the choir, and helps rebuild the relationship with his estranged son (Christopher Eccleston).
This film is bound to be compared against Quartet, since both are about old people singing, but I have to say I think this is the better film. Sure it's less glitzy and is obviously made on a shoestring, but it wears its heart on its sleeve, and it doesn't pull its punches: unlike Quartet, we do get the magic song finale, and very fine it is too.
Worth seeing just for the 80-somethings belting out "Let's talk about sex, baby..." 8/10
Monday, 18 February 2013
(not) A Good Day to Die Hard
Certificate 12A (seriously?) 97 minutes ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆
Oh dear. Oh very dear.
The film opens in a Moscow nightclub where we see a man kill someone in cold blood. We then switch to the good old U S of A, where cop John McClane is preparing to travel to Moscow to find out why his estranged son, Jack, is on trial for murder. When he gets there, yelling "I'm on vacation!" at anyone who'll listen, he quickly finds himself in the middle of a terrorist plot.
What then follows is three set-piece action sequences (car chase, hotel shoot-out, helicopter shoot-out) that defy logic, believability and survivability. - Willis and Courtnay leap 20 stories through a plate glass window while under intense fire from a helicopter gunship, and Willis quips "that was fun, want to go again?"
These action pieces are then strung together by the most inane, badly scripted drivel. Mostly Bruce Willis shouts "I'm on vacation." At least it was easy to learn. Then we rush off to Chernobyl (a distance of 430 miles, according to google - I'd love a car that can drive that in one night!) for more destruction, plus tonnes of weapons grade uranium that just happens to be stashed there..
What made the original Die Hard great was the fish out of water believability: One cop, one building, one night, 13 terrorists. Simples.
Now, we have a geriatric indestructible super hero father son bonding CIA movie. The action sequences by themselves work on a generic action-hero level, which is about the best I can say. The dancing, carrot-chomping "villain" is not a patch on Alan Rickman's shadow, yet alone the man himself. The linking scenes are risible. In short, this is *NOT* any kind of Die Hard movie.
And to add insult to injury, the UK version was cut for a 12A rating.
Yippie ky.... Nah. I'm on vacation. 5/10
Oh dear. Oh very dear.
The film opens in a Moscow nightclub where we see a man kill someone in cold blood. We then switch to the good old U S of A, where cop John McClane is preparing to travel to Moscow to find out why his estranged son, Jack, is on trial for murder. When he gets there, yelling "I'm on vacation!" at anyone who'll listen, he quickly finds himself in the middle of a terrorist plot.
What then follows is three set-piece action sequences (car chase, hotel shoot-out, helicopter shoot-out) that defy logic, believability and survivability. - Willis and Courtnay leap 20 stories through a plate glass window while under intense fire from a helicopter gunship, and Willis quips "that was fun, want to go again?"
These action pieces are then strung together by the most inane, badly scripted drivel. Mostly Bruce Willis shouts "I'm on vacation." At least it was easy to learn. Then we rush off to Chernobyl (a distance of 430 miles, according to google - I'd love a car that can drive that in one night!) for more destruction, plus tonnes of weapons grade uranium that just happens to be stashed there..
What made the original Die Hard great was the fish out of water believability: One cop, one building, one night, 13 terrorists. Simples.
Now, we have a geriatric indestructible super hero father son bonding CIA movie. The action sequences by themselves work on a generic action-hero level, which is about the best I can say. The dancing, carrot-chomping "villain" is not a patch on Alan Rickman's shadow, yet alone the man himself. The linking scenes are risible. In short, this is *NOT* any kind of Die Hard movie.
And to add insult to injury, the UK version was cut for a 12A rating.
Yippie ky.... Nah. I'm on vacation. 5/10
Saturday, 16 February 2013
Wreck-It Ralph
Certificate PG. 108 minutes ★★★★★★★★★☆
John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jack McBrayer, Jane Lynch and Alan Tudyk are the voice talent in this John Lasseter produced Disney animation about a video game character that goes AWOL.
Back in the 80s the video arcade had a game called Fix-It Felix Jr. Players controlled Felix (voiced by Jack McBrayer), a repairman whose job it was to fix windows broken by the bad guy Ralph (John C. Reilly). Now in the 21st century, somehow this video game still lurks in a corner of the arcade.
But Ralph is fed up with being the bad guy. Once the arcade is closed for the night, he slips away from the
game to Bad Anon in Game Central - somewhere out beyond the power sockets. But the villains support group doesn't provide Ralph with the answers he wants to hear, and eventually he goes "turbo", abandoning his game in search of a medal, which he feels will bring him the respect he deserves.
Kids'll love it like it's half term. Adults will love it for the video game pastiche (I'm sure I wasn't the only one with a hankering to hit the video arcades after seeing it). Player 1 Press Start. 9/10
John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jack McBrayer, Jane Lynch and Alan Tudyk are the voice talent in this John Lasseter produced Disney animation about a video game character that goes AWOL.
Back in the 80s the video arcade had a game called Fix-It Felix Jr. Players controlled Felix (voiced by Jack McBrayer), a repairman whose job it was to fix windows broken by the bad guy Ralph (John C. Reilly). Now in the 21st century, somehow this video game still lurks in a corner of the arcade.
But Ralph is fed up with being the bad guy. Once the arcade is closed for the night, he slips away from the
game to Bad Anon in Game Central - somewhere out beyond the power sockets. But the villains support group doesn't provide Ralph with the answers he wants to hear, and eventually he goes "turbo", abandoning his game in search of a medal, which he feels will bring him the respect he deserves.
The first game he visits is the Halo-styled 'Hero's Duty', where he infiltrates a squad of soldiers led by Sergeant Calhoun (Jane Lynch), and from there he goes to a racing game, 'Sugar Rush', where he encounters the glitch, Vanellope von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman).
Directed by Rich Moore (The Simpsons, Futurama) and executive produced by John Lasseter (Toy Story 1, 2, 3...), this has all the verve of Pixar's classics, and easily rivals the best of them. Yes the Disney schmaltz does hit in the second half, which is tooth-decayingly, diabetes-inducingly sweet, but by then you're hooked.
Kids'll love it like it's half term. Adults will love it for the video game pastiche (I'm sure I wasn't the only one with a hankering to hit the video arcades after seeing it). Player 1 Press Start. 9/10
Friday, 15 February 2013
Beautiful Creatures
Certificate 12A, 124 minutes ★★★★★★★☆☆☆
Now that Sparkle the Vampire is finally excised from our consciousness, the studios inevitably have something lined up to take its place, and so enter Beautiful Creatures, cynically timed some (i.e. me) might say to coincide with "V" day (no, not Vampires. The other thing. With kissing and overpriced roses. Yes, *that* one). This is a paranormal romance based on the Young Adult series of novels by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl.
If, like me, you associate paranormal romance with the moping and dreary Twiglet, by now your fingers will be somewhere down your throat. Well, pull them out, because this film is not half bad. This film has wit, (Southern) style and panache. And the always brilliant Dame Eileen Atkins.
And so the inevitable happens and Ethan falls for Lena. But there's a complication: If a caster (what the Ravenwoods call themselves) falls for a mortal... well there's a curse. And on her sixteenth birthday (there's a neat little tattoo on her hand that counts down the days) Lena will find out whether the curse has struck and she is claimed for the dark side...
The two leads are convincing and put in a good performance, but the Brit supporting cast drive it home with both barrels, leaving the back row in no doubt who's boss.
Not sure I'll go out and read the book (even if it is only £2.99 on Amazon), but I probably won't say no to the inevitable sequels.
7/10
Thursday, 7 February 2013
Lincoln
Certificate 12A, 2h 29m, ★★★★★★★★☆☆
Daniel Day Lewis stars as Abe in Steven Spielberg's powerful political drama, set near the end of the American civil war.
The film opens with a brief scene of bloody hand to hand fighting - the only actual battle in the movie. for the most part, the action takes place in Washington D.C. during January of 1865, between Lincoln's second election and inauguration. In this brief window, Lincoln has an opportunity and a dilemma: End the civil war, one of the bloodiest in history, with a compromise deal with the Confederate army, or push through the 13th amendment to the U.S. constitution, thereby abolishing slavery and forcing the South to surrender.
This issue is at the heart of the drama. The 13th amendment, which states, "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."is both incendiary and divisive, and Lincoln has to find another 20 votes to get the bill through congress. At the same time he must hold together his own cabinet, keep his generals happy and manage his family. This all plays out like a historical version of The West Wing.
DDL is outstanding as the 16th President, charismatic and witty (helped by an outstanding script), and supporting performances are excellent, notably by Sally Field as Mrs Lincoln, Tommy Lee Jones as Vice President Thaddeus Stevens, David Strathairn as William Seward, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Lincoln's son Robert, and James Spader, John Hawkes and Tim Blake Nelson as the three political "fixers", coercing bribing and blackmailing people into voting the right way.
This film earns a solid 8, but no doubt it'll be hitting above its weight in the Oscars stakes, simply because it's Lincoln.
Daniel Day Lewis stars as Abe in Steven Spielberg's powerful political drama, set near the end of the American civil war.
The film opens with a brief scene of bloody hand to hand fighting - the only actual battle in the movie. for the most part, the action takes place in Washington D.C. during January of 1865, between Lincoln's second election and inauguration. In this brief window, Lincoln has an opportunity and a dilemma: End the civil war, one of the bloodiest in history, with a compromise deal with the Confederate army, or push through the 13th amendment to the U.S. constitution, thereby abolishing slavery and forcing the South to surrender.
This issue is at the heart of the drama. The 13th amendment, which states, "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."is both incendiary and divisive, and Lincoln has to find another 20 votes to get the bill through congress. At the same time he must hold together his own cabinet, keep his generals happy and manage his family. This all plays out like a historical version of The West Wing.
DDL is outstanding as the 16th President, charismatic and witty (helped by an outstanding script), and supporting performances are excellent, notably by Sally Field as Mrs Lincoln, Tommy Lee Jones as Vice President Thaddeus Stevens, David Strathairn as William Seward, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Lincoln's son Robert, and James Spader, John Hawkes and Tim Blake Nelson as the three political "fixers", coercing bribing and blackmailing people into voting the right way.
This film earns a solid 8, but no doubt it'll be hitting above its weight in the Oscars stakes, simply because it's Lincoln.
Monday, 4 February 2013
Excession
Excession by Iain M. BanksMy rating: ★★★★☆ (3½)
This is the first of Banksie's Culture books that I've read. Lots of people suggest that Player of Games is a better starting point, but this was a group read, and so start here I did. Consequently i got dumped in at the deep end, and for the first few chapters it's very much a case of sink or swim.
Once you've got over the shock, it settles down into an interesting, although never really "exciting" read. There were too many diverse characters (almost everything is a "character" from people to aliens to drones, bots, ships, even the space suits) for me really to keep track of or care much about what happened to them. So, at the end I wasn't fired up to go to go and immediately seek out another Culture novel, although I'm sure I shall read more in the fulness of time.
View all my reviews
Saturday, 2 February 2013
Zero Dark Thirty
15 Certificate, 157 minutes. ★★★★★★★★★★
Katheryn Bigelo's controversial film about the ten year hunt for Osama Bin Laden stars Jessica Chastain as the Maya, unrelenting CIA agent who doggedly follows cold trail after cold trail to find the terrorist leader.
We're all familiar with Seal Team Six and the raid/invasion in Pakistan that finally got Bin Laden - or at least we think we are - and this movie takes us behind the scenes in a part-fictionalised account of the hunt and the tragedies that led to it.
The film opens with a harrowing audio-only representation of 9/11, using phone calls made from the burning World Trade Centre. It then takes us to the Black Ops site at GITMO (Guantanamo Bay) where we see prisoners being tortured for information. It's here we meet CIA operative Maya, on her first assignment, and we follow her to Pakistan where she starts tracking down Bin Laden's elusive courier. The film culminates in an exacting and gripping recreation of the Seal raid on Bin Laden's compound, with Bigelo's characteristic hard-hitting style, which works all the better for the long procedural build-up. I won't - I can't spoil the ending, because, let's face it, we all know.
Jessica Chastain absolutely carries the film, and we are utterly convinced by her fervent - revolutionary, almost - unsentimental determination. She's backed up by an excellent supporting cast, including cameos by James Galdolfini and John Barrowman.
At the end of almost three hours (and ten years), Maya finds herself alone in the back of a C130, it's all been done. The pilot asks her, "Where do you wanna go?" The camera lingers on her face... she has no answer, fade to black.
Katheryn Bigelo's controversial film about the ten year hunt for Osama Bin Laden stars Jessica Chastain as the Maya, unrelenting CIA agent who doggedly follows cold trail after cold trail to find the terrorist leader.
We're all familiar with Seal Team Six and the raid/invasion in Pakistan that finally got Bin Laden - or at least we think we are - and this movie takes us behind the scenes in a part-fictionalised account of the hunt and the tragedies that led to it.
The film opens with a harrowing audio-only representation of 9/11, using phone calls made from the burning World Trade Centre. It then takes us to the Black Ops site at GITMO (Guantanamo Bay) where we see prisoners being tortured for information. It's here we meet CIA operative Maya, on her first assignment, and we follow her to Pakistan where she starts tracking down Bin Laden's elusive courier. The film culminates in an exacting and gripping recreation of the Seal raid on Bin Laden's compound, with Bigelo's characteristic hard-hitting style, which works all the better for the long procedural build-up. I won't - I can't spoil the ending, because, let's face it, we all know.
Jessica Chastain absolutely carries the film, and we are utterly convinced by her fervent - revolutionary, almost - unsentimental determination. She's backed up by an excellent supporting cast, including cameos by James Galdolfini and John Barrowman.
At the end of almost three hours (and ten years), Maya finds herself alone in the back of a C130, it's all been done. The pilot asks her, "Where do you wanna go?" The camera lingers on her face... she has no answer, fade to black.
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